Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I am bullshit


This is the kind of thing that puts me off my food. The food descriptions are not offensive, but those tags!

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In other news, the Uncut One (even more sexy now that he HAS cut his tresses, but he has Sworn Me to Silence on that part of the conversation) has been most helpful. Provided radical ideas for marketing jute. Brand Ambassador - Captain Joot in his designer soot, said suit obviously made from ... yes, joot. One can imagine the Cap'n flying in, his Cape of Hessian settling in majestic folds around his sculptured physique (sculpted in the shape of a sack of cement?), assisting bewildered shoppers in their selection of home furnishings. Gripping stuff. The Duck should so take it up for his next graphic novel.

The Great Blogger laughed - sniggered, even - when I pointed out that jute is not, well, derma-friendly. Not to put too fine a point on it, if those super-hero designer undies were made from jute our hero would spend more time scratching than swatching. (He also mentioned Joot-is, have to ask the ShoeFiend about that one.)

Could it possibly be that the Uncut Ideals do not include Taking Jute Seriously? One is devastated.

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Hero reminds me. Latest discovery is Tom Holt's 'Who's afraid of Beowulf?'. Very nice. (He also has a book called 'Paint Your Dragon'. Such joy!) The companion novel, 'My Hero', also plays with the interface of reality and fantasy but rambles far too much and becomes unreadable. Sad.
Woody Allen did it so much better in the classic short story 'The Kugelmass Episode', where "students in various classrooms across the country were saying to their teachers, 'Who is this character on page 100? A bald Jew is kissing Madame Bovary?'"

Should so ask the Jabberwock (and Baradwaj Rangan?) if they can name the '80s Hindi telefilm based on that story. Guesses, anyone?

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15 comments:

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

I AM GOBSMACKED - One shocked blogger served with alphalpha sprouts. (Pliss, where you found this?)

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Oh and wrt jute shoes I used to own a pair. They lasted but for one monsoon. I am all for a Jute Hero.

amit varma said...

Joot! Joot! JAPji Joot bol rahein hain! Joot!

Jootiya!

eve's lungs said...

I'm all for superheroes togged out in joot - who says jute is not derma friendly ? I distinctly remember reading somewhere about KVIC marketing jute apparel , maybe punched with linen or something - "fuzon joot" .

Otherwise you can always bank on the Ye Big (ger/gest)Shopper line - there's always a market for that !

I loved the link - but whatever are live hummus - assorted live crackers ?A bit worrisome , that .

Suchishree said...

don't remember the name of the telefilm but it had Sudhir Joshi, Rohini Hattangadi, Anuradha Patel and Naseeruddin Shah as the actors. Was wacky. Anuradha Patel was Shakuntala...

and I agree 'Who's afraid of Beowulf" is great. There is another one I read of his where his take on Santa Claus is great.Don't remember the title.

Tabula Rasa said...

what happened to all the juteans?

Ph said...

It started off well with a claim that there was a sexy man involved. But he vehemently denies it so now all those links are just giving me a headache. What? You asked!

Priya said...

Coincidence! Am wearing 'Joot' slippers today. And even before the kids and you were going ga ga over it, I used own a really cool knee-length skirt of pure jute with Egyptian hieroglyphics printed on it! Way ahead of my times, you'd say?

progga said...

I see the primary setting for your super-hero being the joo. I can just see him (the rippling muscles and awesome physique help) jooming in to do something cool, shedding jute fibre with every rustle of his cape.

zigzackly said...

Owned a jute shirt once we did. Way back in our youth. From good old KVIC. Comfortabe it was.

Oh, point to be noted, m'lud. Superheroes always wear their chuddies on the outside.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

ShoeFiend - I thought it was a link off YOUR blog. No? Weird.

Amit - name your seconds, sir, we shall duel to the death with jootis

Eve's L - jute composites are garment grade, pure jute usually itches

Suchi - now I'm reading 'Paint Your Dragon'. Also good. And the film was AnantYatra. Give the girl half a coconut!

T Rasa - prepare to be blabbered into oblivion!

J.A.P.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Ph - I'm not sure WHAT he's denying, but I still hold that he is sexy.

Priya - one is most appreciative.

Progga - you make him sound like Jooblee Kumar. Maybe jute wig, even?

Zig - jute can itch through the joot-zoot too.

J.A.P.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Off my blog? Don't think so!

Jabberwock said...

AnantYatra. Ahem. Of course I knew that.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Manolos - Put it down to the interface between reality and imagination. What, you don't read Pratchett?

Tzoi Ortzoon - timed out, sir.

J.A.P.