Christmas is just around the corner. In September this year. Or, as Plum so succinctly quoted, “Of all the mad New Year ’twill be the maddest merriest day / for I’m to be Queen of the May, Mother, I’m to be Queen of the May”.
And I shall have SUCH a lovely white gown, you know, three quarters, with the cleavage a leetle daring …
What do you mean, I don’t have the figure for it? I shall have 8x zoom, Ms. Smarty-Pants, 8 eight EIGHT X zoom.
That’s a 35-280 Nikkor , so put it in your pipe and smoke it. And a further 4x digital zoom. I hope you bloody well choke.
And EIGHT mega-pixel resolution. Yes, I said EIGHT.
And the next time I go to Kanha and see a tiger, I shall not have to face the trauma of rejection because the tiger didn’t come up and give me a three-quarter view (facing over there Sir, to the left Sir, into the sunset, a leetle more, just a tad, no? NO? Come on, Sir, just a second, ummm, that’s MY leg, hallo, I said that’s my leg please put it down, this is most improper would somebody please make him bring it back?)
No, I shall Survey the Tiger From Afar and the guide will say "Kaafi door pe hai, Saab*" and I shall Wither Him with My Scorn (the guide not the tiger, a withered tiger doesn’t make for good photographs unless you work for Outlook) and I shall slowly raise my Camera With the 280 Zoom and I shall Zap That Tiger with a close-up.
And then I shall sell the pics to the News of the World for mega-bucks because my awesome zoom will have captured Intimate Details, like The Tiger caught snogging a contestant on Big Brother, you know the one I mean, Saskia with the big … ahhh-hrrrmm, the lady with the big smile, I meant, only this time it should be the Smile on the Face of the Tiger, now where was I?
PLUS
EQUALS
Ah yes, the camera. Screw the reviews (yes I said s-c-r-e-w), I don’t much care if the shot-to-shot delay is a little long, I’m not built for speed myself.
And perhaps this year I shall finally roust out C** one winter morning and go shoot a photo-essay on Cal. Or just do a Day in the Life of a Small Person and put it on my desktop. A ½ GB memory stick takes a lot of pictures …
Mmmm hmmm hmmm. 12 days to go.
I just shook out my stocking, Santa, now stop leching and fill it up!
**** ****
* (for Jay, my overseas reader .. errmm, hopefully, Dawn and Dan as well) - "It's a long way off, sir".
**** ****
10 comments:
LOL! that naughty tiger.... how incredibly rude! :)
ok ok obtuse saar- do you have a spanking new fancy nikkon or not?!
(so i can allow jealousy to set in)
That is FANTASTIC news! Looking forward to your brand new Nikon- hopefully you will share pictures with us soon! :) Also looking forward to comparing notes once you start shooting pictures in earnest with the 8 megapeeexel Nikon!
Sorry about the font on my page- for some reason, I cant increase the font size without making it look like hieroglyphics (my knowledge of HTML is somewhat limited)- Will definitely look into it as I would love to hear your retort to my ramblings! Will let u know how it goes in a day or two.
JAPda, as ol' Hitch once cautioned us, cameras can be put to some very *evil* uses...just make sure there's a Grace Kelly around.
Krishna
Paparazzi welcome a new brother with open arms!
best of luck trying to find one to photograph...a tiger i meant..:D
im still waiting for teh day i can afford to buy a camera.
Yes big smiles are captured the best on 8 megapixels...no doubt.
The 5 megapixel one I have since 2 years now seems to me...oh so old.
Damn technology.
this be very funny...linked you...no offence meant ;D
Miz-tris, I can see the Freudian thingy now that you've posted about lions and gazelles.
Bhegoo Bhai, I do not hab Nikkon. I sall not hab Nikkon. But hweeth laak, sall hab sesky Nikon by Phaasht Shep-tame-baar.
Princess, thankee kindly. *gulp*
Krishna, THAT Princess is dead, all we have left are the Monaco biscuits.
Blah-nik, did you know that the Pope is also known as Papa-Ratzi?
Oz, tell you what, I buy the camera and you buy the tiger, then we have a team.
Arnab, Sony have this 5.1 MP camera that has 12x zoom (DSC-1, I think). That was my second choice.
B-Fish, any reason why I should be offended by a link? It's good publicit, innit?
J.A.P.
na na, not about link, about what name I've linked you under, twice :D
Post a Comment