Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Rum in Asians

"and the elements / So mixed in him " ... A man sits across from me in a meeting, exhibiting no less than three characteristics I detest.

Sneakers - cheap ribbed sneakers of a plastic-bucket blue - worn with formal trousers (how I would hate California!). Mouse-coloured trousers at that, guaranteed to deliver maximum puke value in combination with that blue.

A comb-over. Wispy, ineffectual, like clouds across a full moon, ending in a coy swirl of curls near the nape of his neck. And dyed to boot!

One of those vestigial moustaches that crawl across the upper lip like a thin tardy millipede or perhaps a smear of snot from a half-suppressed sneeze.

A fourth trait is evident the moment he opens his mouth - knows nothing himself yet believes that nobody else knows anything. As if he, greasy disastrous assortment of ugliness, is competent to judge.

On the wall just above his head is a picture of a sewage treatment plant. Two giant circular pits that process shit. How appropriate.

I have such a rewarding work environment.

14 comments:

the still dancer said...

our concept of "formal" has always been a source of huge amusement to me. Incidentally, a feeble litte post is up, and material for more is being prepared.

the still dancer said...

update to the last comment: a slightly better post is also up.

Anonymous said...

And sitting across the man is a pathetic wimp whose mind is excreting, rather than thinking.
You stupid snob....

the still dancer said...

at anon
JAP can afford snobbery- he has earned it. Cowardly vermin who are too scared to put their names behind their opinions, are another matter altogether. Crawl back into your little rat hole, or dung heap, or whatever it is.

Prufrock2 said...

Look on the bright side, Sir. At least you were spared the ultimate horror: a snug safari suit.

Anonymous said...

:-)
I liked that and I appreciate the fact that you kept your sense of humor, even though my comment was vitriolic and accusatory.

- The same anonymous guy who offended kaashyapeya more than JAP.

Anonymous said...

Eeeeks!!
This is becoming comical.
anonymous was just told that apparently prufrock2 is not JAP.
And anonymous got this infectious habit of writing like prufrock2 after reading his blog, which anonymous enjoyed very much.
One would in such a case withdraw 'sense of humor' comment and stick to snob comment and hope to infuriate kashyaapeya even more.

the still dancer said...

@ anon
You'd hope in vain then. Ignorance, sometimes, is truly bliss, and this is one of those times- your pathetic efforts deserve to be ignored, and they shall be.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Good grief.

This exchange brings to mind the basic question of the Trojan War - why didn't they just ask Helen?

J.A.P.

Helen said...

HOW can I be of service?

thalassa_mikra said...

Sneakers and formal trousers? Together? In California? Dream on Mr. Prufrock! The California casual is all about the Birkenstocks, Tevas and flip-flops during summers. This is of course paired with summer casual trousers.

Sneakers are the uniform of budding rappers in my 'hood. Hence the P.Diddy sneaker by Nike. Paired with impossibly wide pants that drop off the derriere.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

The Mikra, I thought Calvin Klein pioneered the trousers+sneakers pairing. He lives in NYC?
As for the 'budding rappers', what happens when impossibly wide trousers meet impossibly wide derriere? (You know the Ogden Nash quatrain I mean)

Helen, my poppet, run off and change while I tune up my mandolin (opening bars of 'Mehbooba mehbooba' as I go u-hu-u-hu-u-hu-uuUUUuuuUUU ...)

J.A.P.

thalassa_mikra said...

These preppy horrors have been perpetuated by the Klein-Lauren-Hilfiger trimurti - all from NY. Fortunately, they haven't been thought of as serious designers for years.

Which is not to say that LA hasn't perpetrated fashion travesties of its own. Check this out:

http://willow506.com/willow/SearchResult.aspx?CategoryID=46

I'm actually not familiar with the Ogden Nash quatrain that you speak of. Haven't read him since 9th std.

MJ said...

@J.A.P
U rock man!!

@Aam Junta
Will someone please extract the rather long(and perhaps thorny) stick up kaashyapeya's rectal orifice?