Friday, May 20, 2005

Chicken?


Summ pear-son frum Kaiii-rrlla haze a vendor-full ayyy-deuh awn-leh.

There are some who think this idea (or ayyy-deuh, or biz-niss maw-dll) can be replicated in other parts of the country. Their number includes my Blogger-in-the-Flesh who (like his hair) remains largely Uncut (yes, this is sheer envy speaking) and a correspondent with a wonderfully evocative name. (Digression - our friend in college, Jane Mary John, soon became Jane Meri Jaan. Her shyam-borno boyfriend, of course, was Tar-jane).
I would advise them to do a market survey first.

Because it really wouldn't work in Bengal, you know. We've got it down pat here, we don't need to outsource the event management, "our boys" can handle it well enough, thank you very much. They've been doing it for years, why should we give somebody else the chance to make a little on the side?

And even in the supposedly apolitical Pnnn-jaabb-uh, I came across the "rum and rally" idea three years ago. Only there they called it "pagg-uh hore lagg-uh", which (translated for those who don't understand this most melodious of all languages) means "a peg and a leg". Nothing to do with Long John Silver (Digression #2 - the original title idea for "Treasure Island" was "The Sea Cook"), but a Peg of Whiskey and a Leg of Chicken. Of the National Bird of the region, in fact. To wit, Tnn-doooree Chik-ken.

In the constituency where I'd been sent,
one candidate's election platform was a large trailer drawn by a Tata Safari. Loaded with CRATES of Solan whiskey and the charred remains of a poultry farm. His appetites were as large as his heart. For every sip he offered, he would take one himself; his day's canvassing ending only when he subsided into the trailer, snoring blissfully. At which point his nephew (on Safari with him, so to speak) would steer homewards. Steer a little erratically, since Said Nephew shared the family trait of appreciating the simple pleasures (or plai-years) of life.

Within the letter of the law, this school of campaigning amounted to soliciting for votes with promise of gain. Another candidate ventured to complain about these methods. The native Punjabi, however, has a large heart. The complainant was immediately rebuked and shushed by at least three other candidates, the largest of whom turned to me and said, with a dismissive wave of a huge hand, 'Wo koi nahin jee, bacche thod-di si jo pee pah lehnde so ki fark painda'.

Sadly enough, the devotee of Bacchus lost his deposit. Quite a pity. His career in the Assembly could have been of considerable interest.

(Digression #3 - I now have an Actual Post with Links to Other Posts. I am well on my way to becoming a Serious Blogger. Maybe even - be still, my beating heart! - a Libertarian Despite Being in Gormante. [And I thought that only the C-hollege Mafia could be so entirely patronising!] Oh frabjous day!)


32 comments:

neha said...

Oh god. Links! In your posts!

But you still make me laugh!
*Shaking*

Tip-tree said...

Tip: Make your links open in a new window.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Tree-Tip, HOW do I make my links open in a new window?

Neha, I'm not sure I should take cognizance of comments from a blogger who has disabled comments on her own blog.

J.A.P.

the still dancer said...

dada,
notun kobita pate dewa hoyeche. Ektu chekhe dekhe bolben kemon laglo

Kuttan said...

Makes me wonder if bryson ever visted Bengal during his backpacking days. Is it the beuracratic boredom that gives an edge to your Sarcasm

vAgue said...

gorment ka Serious Blogger
wah wah, wah wah
uwah uwah
(siren approaches)

ps-go to html in your post composer, and add - target=_blank - (not the hyphens) just after where the url is(i.e after the " that completes the url) .

neha said...

:(

Tip Tree said...

bolchhi je, I am Tip Tree, not Tree Tip. And dont know how it opens in a new window but Amit Uncut's blog does that. Its all in the code, dude. Call your friendly neighbourhood HTML writer for more Tips. Kamon?

amit varma said...

Amit Uncut's blog does not do that, youthful tree dweller. User can jolly well open in new window, or as the case for 43% of my readers would be, in new tab. Links opening in new window doesn't always suit firefox user, who may use tabs to surf. Though if he/she/it opens in new tab anyway, same difference.

JAP, if you want new window code anyway, I'll be glad to send.

Rajesh J Advani said...

Cool post! Liked the transliterations :)

Amit saar, it is easy to make new windows open as new tabs in Firefox. I'll try to figure out which of the million extensions I use allows you to set this, and let you know :)
Probably Tabbrowser Preferences or something...

neha said...

:(

vAgue said...

arre...in Firefox, clicking on a link with the scroll-wheel opens it in a new tab - one of the coolest things, methinks...no right click, no tab/window choosing...

amitji, is there code to make all links placed to open in new windows, by default. I do it manually only, when desired.

amit varma said...

Raju Bhaiyya. Thanks for ad-vice, I didn't know that. In any case, power-users open in new window or tab anyway, so putting in extra code with every link is best avoided, I think. Which brings me to Vagueji's question, I don't know of any such code that automates all links opening in new windows, though I'm really bad at the tech stuff, Raju Bhaiyya may know.

And boss, thanks for that scroll-click tip, I never knew that. Outstanding effort-saver!

Neha, smile. Other great bloggers don't have comments disabled, and young JAP is just jealous. ;)

J. Alfred Prufrock said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
J. Alfred Prufrock said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Vague, surely your '_blank' solution in the template solves this problem?

Tip Tree, mind you don't tip over under the weight of your wisdom.

Kuttan, being compared to Bryson is praise indeed. Thank you.

Rajesh A, there seems to be only one transliteration in this post. But glad you like.

Amit-JI! If we are to address you as such, you need to grow a salt & pepper goatee. To start with. Since you refer to me as “young JAP”, you’re obviously practising running in slow-mo as well.

Neha, quit making faces and Speak Up.

All tech-savvy visitors - call me, mail me, fiddle with my blog. Just don't expect me to get too far with it myself.

J.A.P.

vAgue said...

Gorment saar, yes the target,blank etc thingy does it when you insert it for every link that you have created. I was wondering if there was a code that could automate it to be default for all links one created, but nevermind, this has been confusing enough.(and heck, i wouldn't even actually use a default new window setup!)

The Firefox thing is truly outstanding, yes. With increased Firefox use and mass distribution of wheel mouses, 'target=_blank" would be consigned to the html recycle bin as far as I am concerned.

neha said...

:)
Thankooo Amit. And JAP, c'mon ... you must be used to the Ghorment not responding anyway!

Laura said...

Dada, sidebar e link gulo je kaaj korche na. Shudhu prothom du tinte functional. Ki hobe? Kichu korun ... na bakaida shorkari aarji pesh korte hobe? Mojar post likhechen jodio. Hee-aby bhalo!

Vishnupriya said...

haan kaku, please html programming ta bhalo kore shikhe nin. nahole shobai bujhbe je aapni a)shorkari kormochari, b)above 40.

vAgue said...

saar your sidebar links not all working, saar. Please forgive if bengali ladies also saying same thing. But it is very good to be seeing you make ventures into the linking part of this wonderful world of blogging, saar...
(i remain, etc...)

vAgue said...

and also saar, your title for cricinfo is being priceless.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Orl roight, orl ROIGHT, Oi'm a-trrrying, amen't Oi!

Please note - sidebar construction courtesy He of the Uncut Locks. I shall attempt reconstruction. What's the flippin' code for the links?

And ex-Poison, tell the lady in your picture to make up her mind - does she want to be Tinker Bell or Bell-y Dancer? Dress sense reminiscent of Madhuri Dixit before she found Manish Malhotra!

J.A.P.

vAgue said...

Jolly good, ol chap...all this sidebar business. I don't have your email id, though I would be happy to write in and let you know what (little) I understand about html and the like.

ta, then

amit varma said...

Eeee! Shcandal, dada, Shcandal, jooto holo sandal. Khud Gawr-bore karke bhale manoosh ko daante? I sent working code, it went wrong when you tried to insert "Life on Earth" in third place, the code I sent had "Phuntastic" third, as in your blogrolling thingie-ta. What, saar, shimple caat-pashte giving problem? What you bhill run gorment then? Start a gaarment company, any ackshidentul slits and shortages will be ashcribed to fashun.

amit varma said...

Just saw your source, JAP. You've inserted the target_blank thingies wrong. That bit of code is coming after the link starts from the third link onwards, while it should come at the end of the previous link. (Tried cut-pasting example of what I mean, but this blogger comments thingie is not accepting as a comment.) I suggest you just copy all the links for the newspapers onto that space, and cut-paste the relevant links. Email me if urgent help required, am online. And preview before saving template changes.

Anonymous said...

You're really into serious blogging old Prune...here's a handshake...heralding the winds of change and all that...very nice...specially the links.

Old Hag

the still dancer said...

syar, pleej blog syar

Vishnupriya said...

heee heee. i just love the pic. actually i wanted the pic of sridevi on the poster of nagin, but i founf this instead and i liked it.

oh, and madhuri is the best ever.

vAgue said...

sir kidhar ho?

Mandar said...

JAP, what's up? Long time no post?
I read all your posts. Just that I didnt comment all these days. :)

Grafxgurl said...

heyaaa!!! wandered in through Em's blog!!aykhanay khub bhalo lagey!!!! will come back for more!
:D