Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Arrested motion

My heroine of the week is Bina Ramani [1]. I have little idea why it is necessary to arrest a witness who is not charged as an accessory after the fact, but I totally love the idea of her staying cool with Chanel in the lock-up. Can we extend this to other areas of public life? Air fresheners in buses? Autos? The press room in Writers Buildings on any afternoon when the Assembly is not in session?

I’ve often wondered what would be the toughest part about being arrested. Given pen and paper, I think I could survive the other tribulations (except being beaten up, I never could get to accept that even though it happened often enough since Cls. 4, when I cheeked one of the Chinese seniors from technical school and got my glasses slapped half-way across the badminton court). You know what would give me grief? The loos. There is no way I can be happy if I have to use a dirty loo. Given the parsimonious outlook of jail administrators, it is a given that the loos won’t be clean. I hope I never get arrested.

[1] Link will follow when the Telegraph site is up again.

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Rimi said...

You were at the play yesterday? And what did Opaline do to get the cheers she did? Do enlighten. The child has bouts of shyness, ergo we have to depend on secondary sources :-)

The Chanel in the news-head had me chuckling a good bit too. and have I not campaigned enough for air-fresheners in buses?

You are not forgiven, byt he way. But we believe in graciouness.

km said...

Like they say, don't do the crime if you can't stand the grime.

Anonymous said...

Ah Japda!! Two minds with but a single thought.

I haven't yet been arrested (thank god - the loos really worry me too) but I even chose my current occupation in part due to the availability of good loos, something sorely lacking in my previous occupation.


scout said...

somehow, i can't imagine you being slapped in the fourth grade. i can't actually imagine you *being* in the fourth grade. but this teacher slapped me once, and my new, pretty glasses flew all the way to the other end of the class. i feel ya. :D

The Marauder's Map said...

What?! The Telegraph site was down again?

ichatteralot said...

Jail (or do the British spell it as Gaol?)loos are best described in the book 'Shantaram'. Dirty is not a word that is even close to the description!

30in2005 said...

I've been (only as part of my work) to see some prisons here in the UK and they are really quite good, loos and all - a bit like Boarding school with no escape.

And one inmate commented (during an education session) that she keeps re-offending because it's warm, she gets 3 hot meals, showers and clean loos, all things better than being homeless or living in her car!!

I know I know - I still don't want to go to prison but atleast, god forbid, I had to I would not suffer hideous loos! As for other awful things about prison I'm sure there are many I would not survive

Jeeves said...

What about the anal rapes in prison? You think you are up for that? Or is that the thing you look forward to from prison life: being someone else's bitch. Oh I forgot, you are a Civil Servant already.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Rimi, one is quite overwhelmed

KM, pithy

N, a wo/man is kown by the loo s/he keeps?

Scout, you have no idea how often I got beaten up till I got big enough to beat up

M Map, why, yes!

Ichatter, I didn't like "Shantaram". Perhaps because "Papillon" set the benchmark for me. And perhaps because it struck me as pretentious.

30, moral - if you have to get arrested, get arrested in the UK?

Jeeves my dear man, get an enema. It might clear your brain, or what you use instead of one.